Full of Surprises

.. I’m pregnant. Those chores I mentioned? Not your normal kind of ‘chores’. In fact, I hear most women enjoy it.. Not me, on the other hand. As soon as Sir noticed I’d hit puberty (this was maybe three years after I’d hit puberty? He’s a bit behind, Sir is) he decided I had more uses.

His excuse was that my Mother would want him to be happy. It’s disgusting, HE’S disgusting.

I didn’t even know I was pregnant. He made me get the Implanon rod inserted, so that I couldn’t get pregnant, but that meant I didn’t get my monthly visits, either. So I had no idea that there was a little baby growing inside of me.

Sure, I’d been sick, but it was only once or twice, and I thought it was from my crappy cooking, not from pregnancy! Once I realised that there was a little bump where my flat stomach had once been, I knew. I knew I was pregnant, and I knew the only person I could possibly be pregnant to was HIM. Oh god, how was I going to get rich now? I had no money as it was, and this did not help me at all. I briefly considered abortion, but when I looked it up on the school computers, I knew I was past the cut-off amount of weeks for it. I still haven’t gone to a doctor, because I’m afraid of the questions they’ll ask.. They can’t know who the father is. He’d kill me!

It was bad enough when he discovered I was pregnant. I’d held it off for as long as possible, but when you’re waddling around the house and six or so months, the other person living with you is bound to notice somethings up. He yelled at me to get an abortion, to take the RU486, anything to get rid of the child. Even adoption.

Unfortunately for him, I was having none of it. I’d bonded with this child growing inside of me, and he would just have to put up with it and with me. We weren’t going anywhere, and his threats didn’t scare me. Much. I knew in the back of my mind that I should go to the police, but I didn’t want my baby growing up with a stigma surrounding it. Of course school has noticed. They tried sending me to a counsellor but I skipped the appointments. No way in hell am I talking to someone about this fuck-up. I still go, I need the education to help me earn decent wages and somehow get rich. My get rich scheme is pretty simple. 1: Graduate High School. 2: Get Job. 3: Marry some rich guy. 4: Profit!! I don’t think #3 is going to work anymore. I’ll have to make it on my own, so #1 is rather important to me now.

And I have to admit, I love challenging myself. Even if sometimes the homework frustrates me. My little baby girl (I’m hoping it’s a girl!) encourages me to keep going with her little kicks. I love it.

I’m probably sitting at eight or nine months now. I still haven’t gone to a Doctor, I don’t plan on it. Not even when I’m giving birth. I know it’ll hurt, but I just can’t risk it. They’d take me away, and I need that house, I need the memories of my mother that are in those walls. I don’t think I could have the strength I have now if it weren’t for the thought of her watching over me.

You should see the cot I bought for my darling baby. Isn’t it the most precious thing you’ve ever seen?

A/N: God am I unhappy with this chapter, and with the writing skills I seem to not have. I do apologise. The next chapter will be written in past tense instead of skipping to and fro, and will be a proper chapter.. I’m trying to juggle a few separate things at the moment, so I guess the story is the thing coming off worse for wear. Sooorryyyy! xo


10 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by kirinokisu on May 9, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    Personally, I like the chapter and you do have writing skills 🙂
    Poor Linn 😥 Doing all the chores, living with a disgusting man and being pregnant.
    I can’t wait to see what happens next!


  2. I loved it and I disagree totally with the “no writing skills” statement. 🙂

    Loving it so far and ugh what a creep he is!

    Looking forward to the next chapter 🙂 🙂 🙂 (hope you don’t have a hangover in the morning babe)


    • Posted by nadzicle on May 14, 2011 at 10:48 pm

      Naw. I’ve had a draft sitting on my computer for like a day or two now. I keep forgetting about it and doing other things. Like getting wasted. xD
      No hangover, thank god! Just a craving for bacon. We have none, though. Sad panda.
      Love you for loving it. Mwah. =]


  3. Love the chapter. Poor poor Lin 😦 “Sir” needs to stop bossing her around.


  4. Wow, what an &^%&%! Quick! Somebody call the police on that dude! I’m happy tho that Lin stands up and keeps the baby.


  5. Ugh. D: Poor poor Linn.


  6. JERK! I hope she finds some way to escape his clutches and be successful at her get rich scheme. XD


  7. I think your writing skills are amazing ^_^ and this is the best one I’ve read so far ^_^


  8. I love it so far ❤ Linn is adorable ❤ Don't you dare stop writing this, missy!


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